That Special Type of "Girl Crazy"

So it has come to my immediate attention that, Yes, I am a girl and I do tend to act like one sometimes when if forget how awesome I am (lol right). After recent events and a few slip ups, I have decided to do a post on girls and that special kind of "girl crazy" that our male counterparts must deal with in order to get some of this (BOOBIES).  Most of the time, I don't cry, I don't whine, I don't bitch and I sure as hell don't enjoy watching jersey shore. I'm a gamer girl by heart, love rock and metal music, and like the outdoors and guns. So it is definitely a surprise to me when my brain has a complete and total butt to head replacement and I act like the typical girl. You know the types.

For example: "I'm Fine" this phrase should not be a part of a girls vocabulary unless you fall down a flight of stairs and miraculously managed to land on your sweater puppies to cushion the fall. Or, you got plowed down by a roaming buffalo and were not hideously disfigured in the process. It must not however, be used to signify the feeling one has when they are not indeed FINE. The best way to put it I suppose, is that fine is a acronym for: F**ked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. Which is truly what it is. Upon further investigation, (through personal girl experience) you use this term when you really don't know how to put something, so you just don't. Or in the more extreme cases of "oh I just wanted some attention *kissy face*", girls may use it as an excuse to be a dumb bitch and get a guy to "chase" after her. Bitch, you ain't THAT pretty.

Another example: "Whatever" this phrase must have been invented by a politician due to the fact that I have not known anyone that can make me rain down rage more than a politician. This is the biggest cop out phrase that has ever been invented and I personally am proud that even in my most vagina fueled girly moments, I do not use this abomination to the English language. "Whatever" is a term used when a girl really has nothing better to say and really has no valid argument so they decide to invoke rage upon their opponent as to befuddle and confuse them with the sheer stupidity of the "Whatever argument". Like really? You're mad about something that obviously isn't that important if your only point of argument is a phrase that makes you look like a mentally challenged "toddlers in tiara's" contestant (they probably have better arguments than that).

Another, is saying that you are doing something to cover up the fact that you are upset. "oh I'm just sitting outside by myself because the sky is mighty pretty tonight" or "oh im just sitting in the corner over here to gain new perspective on the space of our bedroom" or "I'm not crying" when you obviously are. Let's face it. Girls are silly. Especially the ones that "can't find a sweet guy" really? because he is in the friend zone...where you left him. While you decided to date that d-bag with the crappy car and tribal tattoo.

So when tempted with the idea of giving in to the idea that being a girl means that you can do what you want, and your man wont leave you high and dry for being a dumb trollop, think again. He will drop you like the  hormone induced crazy you are. All that "oh I hate drama" crap? well you created it so goodluck with that one. Also, saying that "you knew that when you started dating me" when you decide to act like a whore in public, or think it's cute to sit on a guys lap to make your man jealous, you are a complete and total brainless hussy.

In conclusion, when given the opportunity to act like a girl or to do these typical girly things, save your man the trouble and DON'T. Your relationships will last longer, and your man wont ignore you for call of duty. Your tickle taco is not precious enough to put up with bi-polar crazy. Just sayin...