It seems like the more time that passes, more of my friends and relatives are getting married and having little miniature minions. Recently my brother got married...never saw that happening. I was part of the bridal party. Being part of the set up and take down of a wedding really gets those crazy girl hormone gears a movin' and I admit, even for me.
Single, taken, it doesn't matter. When those thoughts start getting in the a girls head, they don't go away so easily. It starts out pretty small, maybe day dreaming about your perfect day, absent mindedly thinking about what dress would make all of your boyfriends wildest dreams come true and make all the ex girlfriends want to explode in a cloud of jealousy for how amazingly sextastic you look....
Then it starts to get a little weird. You start ripping pages out of wedding magazines, printing out pictures of cakes and flowers that you will never be able to afford. Make up a guest list and start a wedding registry when the closest you have been to sleeping with someone in the past year is your cat, Sir Fluffkins. PINTEREST WILL ENVELOPE ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME. Pinning every thing wedding related to your "Fairytale overly expensive make your boyfriend cry and your bank account fart dust wedding board". You will re-pin a bazillion work out routines that you never intend to do to get ready for the "big day" as well as trying to budget for every little detail. It is a slippery slope down on the way to disappointment.
You will start watching every wedding related movie that you can get your hands on. Critiquing everyone elses wedding on how you could have done it better. It will consume you and everything you hold dear while your significant other sits on the other side of the couch oblivious to the fact that you are planning out his proposal and the ring for him so that it meets your fairy tale standards.
It will just get worse and worse until you wake up one morning and realize..."wait, I don't even have a boyfriend..." And as you lay in bed like a sad weepy potato, sobbing, slobbering and snotting into your pillow, you will become bitter. Everything that used to make you happy is now at the bottom of a pint of ben & Jerrys. That perfect dress that you had picked would now be too small for the amount of feelings that you have eaten through in the past few weeks.Your friends will ask you what is wrong and you wont have the heart to tell them that its because you want to get married but you have no prospects. That you signed up for "the knot" with a fake name and fake date to make yourself feel better. Bed Bath and Beyond will become your second home. You will start speed dating and the first words out of your mouth will either be "would you like to see my wedding notebook, this is what I want you to wear" or "So, about me having your babies..." which will throw up the red flags of crazy and that thirty second get to know each other session has turned into a man that wants nothing better than to move onto the crazy cat lady next to you.
I have reached this point before (not the speed dating or eating my feelings)...it is not pretty. Then you wake up one day, realize that you can make yourself happy and if he wont get off his ass to do it, find someone that will. The world is full of ass hats that want nothing better than to hit it and quit it as it were...but there are still MEN out there. Find someone that will let you be crazy and have your hormonal girl moments and still love you and when you bring up marriage, his manly bits don't run in the opposite direction (if they had feet...which would look pretty funny)
In short, take your time, enjoy what you have, and get a cat. Cats are funny.
